Intentional Living. Revisited

Over fifteen years ago the Holy Spirit nudged my noggin with two little words: Intentional Living. I remember it as plain as yesterday. I was dropping my little ones off at a gymnastics class, and as I pulled out of the parking lot the words Intentional Living came to my mind. Out of nowhere, this little phrase intrigued me. Intentional Living. What is that? What does it mean? What would my life look like if I lived it intentionally? Oh, how I recognized the UN-intentionality of my life! And the thought of living by intention rather than whim was truly revolutionary to me. By the time my husband arrived home from work, I had worked up such an enthusiasm about the idea that I exuberantly declared, “I’m going to write a book! And it’s going to be called Intentional Living!” Some might think I should SMACK my husband for his response, but true it was! He said, “You better write that down because I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon.” It wasn’t a slam or a dis — it was a little dose of reality.

That night when I got the kids tucked in their beds, I escaped the chaotic day by immersing myself in a candlelit bubble bath. There, still reeling from my excitement over Intentional Living, I began to dream. I began to see a vision of myself actually living with great intention. I felt healthy, strong and vibrant. Physically I was at a healthy weight and regular exercise had toned my body and made me fit. I was living a disciplined spiritual life: daily quiet time and engaged with my faith and my Heavenly Father. My relationships were deeply connected and intimate. I was pursuing my dream of writing and speaking. In fact, in my vision I had written my book, Intentional Living. I was engaged to speak at a coliseum full of women. I could see myself standing in front of them – strong, confident and authentic. Then, a funny thing happened … I opened my eyes and was given a stark contrasting view of reality. My bubbles had dissipated and I was left looking at the reality of what life can look like when lived unintentionally. I was overweight, out of shape, and my marriage was suffering what many marriages endure when young parents are in the throws of parenting elementary aged children. We were exhausted, running from activity to activity, dining on fast food and barely having time to say hello much less connect on an emotional level. I was living a lazy spirituality and felt a disconnect with God. Though surrounded by many people throughout my day, I felt isolated and alone. I was too busy for anything meaningful – marriage, friends, spirituality, health. I was a mess.

In the few years that followed that event, I wrote an 8 week course on Intentional Living that I taught in my parish on several occasions. I wrote a workbook to accompany that course. But like New Years resolutions, the years came and went with hap-hazard attempts to live my intentional life, with some successes and many failures … “up until now” as my dear friend, Jeanne, always reminds me. NOW is the time I am making a change.

I have revisited my Intentional Living dream and truly believe that God is fleshing out this idea in me. He has assured me that before I can truly help anyone else, I have to let Intentional Living change me. I’m excited to say that I’m beginning to get the hang of living with intention. Today my scale told me that I am 20 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. Since January 2 (I can’t start anything on January 1!) I have been focusing on my eating habits and trying to boost that inner strength. I have found that I am enjoying the feeling of being in control even more than the taste of sweet and salty! I have a new feeling of confidence instead of failure – and that feels GOOD! As William Jennings Bryan said, “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.” Intentional Living is the proactive process of choosing the life you want to live, one day and one choice at a time.

Care to join me??